China

Tales from China follow below the map.
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BEIJING, CHINA: Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 06:26:32

We got to Beijing last night, after a great last night in Tokyo where we met up again with our Australian friends from Kyoto.

Our hostel is ok.  After much discussion with fellow travelers, we have determined that the toilet plumbing must not have that little loop where the water keeps the stench from coming back up.  The stench comes up.  Oh, it comes up.

We did not do too much last night except chat with some people and go to eat dinner, but eating was definitely exciting.  Not only were we sick of cheap(er) Japanese food, but we had great company!  The restaurant was a hole in the wall -- literally; there was no door, just a hole in the wall.  They spoke no English and we spoke no Chinese, so they called the son (?) in from the other room (we think they live there) and he asked us what we wanted.  We said, "No meat" a few times, and so they gave us noodles. 

While eating dinner the restaurant, the owners and family members and friends (ten people by the end of dinner) congregated around our table and began to point and laugh very loudly. At some point we saw that the cook (the father, we think) was making fun of the way we were eating with chopsticks.  He mimicked us for some time, to the great enjoyment of all present. 

One guy tried to speak to us in English but we did not understand a word so he went to look for a pen and disappeared.  A while later he returned with peaches and put three in front of us.  Though we were very happy with the gift, we could not eat them.  According to the health department, raw fruit are forbidden unless peeled, so we began peeling them.  If you ever tried to peel a peach with your bare fingers you would know that it cannot be done.  The crowd began to laugh and tried to show us how to eat a peach by biting with exaggerated fervor.

We returned tonight for more entertainment at our favorite hole in the wall in Beijing.

Today we went to the Great Wall.  We were surprised that we made it!  It took us a good 45 minutes to figure out where the bus was.  The wall was beautiful and very steep.  We climbed the wild part of the wall at Huanghuacheng, which was supposed to be with minimal tourism.  Still, we paid 2 yuan for every ladder we had to climb.  It was incredible to actually be there.  The wall really was in remarkable condition, and this section was not renovated.

One more thing of interest:  We went to a Chinese out-door food market today where we saw the following skewered foods: cockroaches, little tiny skinned birds, scorpions, whole squids and octopuses and foods that we could not recognize. It was really fun!

Tomorrow we will go to the Dirt Market and tour Tian'anmen Square etc.

BEIJING, CHINA: Date: Tue, 02 Oct 2001 07:47:47

To quote from Lonely Planet: "It's quite easy to get [to Huanghuacheng]. Just take the 916 bus from Dongzhimen to Huairou and then get a minibus to the wall."  How naive we were!  We got to Dongzhimen no problem (it's a stop on the metro), but finding the 916 bus was no walk in the park.  It was a walk through a jungle of taxi drivers offering us a special price just for us.  We asked everyone we could find where the 916 bus and for a while they just pointed.  After about a fifteen minute walk from the metro station, the line of buses ended with no 916 in sight.  A yelling taxi driver who had followed us for about a half a mile finally gave us a price: 260 yuan for four of us, versus 4 for the bus.  We said no.  We made the mistake, however, of asking him where the 916 bus was.  He pointed us to an unmarked minibus, telling us that this was the 916 and that it would take us directly to the wall for only 5 yuan.  Lots of people suddenly became interested in helping us, yelling at us that this was the 916.  Backing out of this mess, we asked a police officer where the 916 was.  He pointed us to a building that looked as if it had not had repairs since the 1930s.  Indeed, inside this shell surrounded by chunks of sidewalk and screaming vendors, we found the "bus station" and the 916.  We won't even go into how un-easy it was to find a minibus in Hairou; we finally gave up and got an overpriced taxi.  But the wall was great. 

China is a beautiful, stressful country.  Other bumps along the way: We are sick with cold.  Because of this, maneuvering around Beijing becomes more difficult.  For example: Yesterday was National Day (China's 52nd birthday).  We went to Tianamen Square in hopes of finding parades and seeing the Forbidden City.  After getting swindled by a taxi-bike guy who charged too much and dropped us off 30 minutes walking distance from the square, we found ourselves in a crowd of people bigger than we have ever seen before.  A distance that previously took us 5 minutes to cover now took us 45 minutes.  And the weird thing was, NOTHING was happening!  No parades, no marches, nothing!  Just lots and lots and lots of people. Everywhere!  Just to cross the street required a long and torturous line.  We turned around, made our way through the crowd and went back to the hostel for a nice long nap.

Mishap number three/travel tip: There is more than one railway station in Beijing.  This hard-won piece of information cost us about 290 yuan, two hours, and half a left lung.  After buying the wrong tickets at the railway station due to our lack of Mandarin knowledge, we decided to cough up the service charge to get the tickets from the luxury hotel next door.  They were very friendly, spoke English, and we had the tickets in hand.  They wrote down what we thought was "How do I get to the Kaifeng train?" but in fact was written "How do I get to the Beijing WEST Railway Station," the ticket agent assuming we were going to show this paper to a taxi driver. 

The next morning (today), we went to the train station about forty minutes early and showed our piece of paper to a few railway station police.  They laughed and pointed, so we kept walking and asking people, who laughed and pointed some more.  Finally, we asked a random friendly-looking traveler, who told us that we were at the wrong station.  We grabbed a taxi, got caught in traffic, arrived at the station at 8:02, ran inside, got pointed to the wrong platform by a station employee, found the right platform, and missed our train.  (The half lung was lost between waiting room numbers 4 and 6.

Ways of getting cheated out of 3 yuan: a) we bought a bun at the same place three days in a row for 1 yuan each.  On the fourth day, the price went up to 3 yuan a piece.  Not knowing mandarin, and being too sick to argue, we forked over 6 yuan. b) We went to the Silk market where a lot of fake brand-name clothes are sold.  We needed some lightweight pants so we bought those sporty Nike nylon pants.  When we put them on, we realized that everything was right EXCEPT that they were snow pants and look very silly.   Our bottoms increase in size miraculously after we put them on. c) Never trust a bike taxi when he takes you through some shady alleyways.  d) When the person you are bargaining with gets angry, it's usually a good thing unless he tells every other vendor in the market that you are a fool.  Then forget the whole shopping trip and go back to your hostel.

On a more fun note!  We saw Chinese acrobatics, and they were just amazing.   Tumblers, diablo spinners, rope climbing spinning people, parasol foot spinners, etc.  And they were all under 12, most of them probably around 6 or 7.  Tonight we saw Peking Opera, which was very interesting.  The costumes are elaborate, and there isn't as much outright singing as in European operas.  We slowly figured out the plot, and greatly enjoyed the show.  One of the best parts was having a little kid behind us climbing on our chair and saying "Hello" and "How are you?"  Very cute.

One more thing: little children here have pants with a hole in the rear to allow for easier access for potty training.  We keep seeing kids running around showing off their baby buns.  It's adorable!

Thanks for all your e-mails; we love reading them even if we don't have a chance to respond to each one.  We miss all of you, but are having a great time and look forward to sharing our travels with you when we return.  To quote Kurt Vonnegut, "Only a fool would use Sateen Dura-Luxe."  Not relevant.

KAIFENG, CHINA: Date: Sun, 07 Oct 2001 06:51:37

We're sorry about the delay in emails- Kaifeng is not known for its plethora of internet connections. Also, we don't remember the last time we used such a slow internet connection (apparently on Sundays it’s extra-slow).

When we last left off, we missed our train to Kaifeng. Since then, we made it to another train. The train ride was nice. We got hard sleepers, which are like sleeping shelves and slept for several hours. Then we were awakened by a curious girl who touched our feet to get our attention. we spent the next few hours trying to talk to her. The girl would come, ask a question in English, and disappear for a while and then return with another question. We had a great time making faces and laughing with her. Finally we got up and hung out with her family a bit. she started to cry when she got frustrated that she could not speak English, and the crying just got worse when her family laughed.

We arrived at Kaifeng at 7 p.m., with no place to stay. The first Lonely Planet recommendation failed miserably -- it was a non-foreigner hotel and we were turned away. At first we felt discriminated against, but we just had the issue explained to us by an American living here, so we feel better.

Being sick and tired, we went to a better hotel -- we had a room with a private shower and bathroom. It was among the seediest of hotels, and we suspect it acted as hotel/brothel. We spent the next two days sleeping and reading (after we moved to a cheaper hotel), and regained our energy. One very nice thing: at our VERY cheap hotel, where we had two beds and that's about it, we also got a hot water thermos brought to our room every day. It was very nice to have hot tea available all the time, and the water remains hot for a remarkably long time! One thing about the hotel: there was a reason we were paying only 60 yuan per night. We paid for a double but it turns out we had a triple. Our rodent friend only made himself known our last couple nights when we heard nibbling and bags rustling. Last night, the bags were next to our bed, and the rat ran up Hagar's pillow when she woke up with a scream. We went to the night-watch-person, key-providing, we-don't-know-who-she-is person, and asked for insect repellent because we don't know how to say rat poison. She gave us some aerosol bug poison, and we sprayed the area where we heard the rat. While waiting for the smell to clear the room, we fell asleep in the hall. Quite a night.

Other than that, we find that Chinese is a very loud language to our untrained ears, especially at 6 a.m. when we are sleeping. We are getting used to the yelling and slamming of doors that accompanies our dreams every morning, and every night. Also, we have noticed that there is always music playing on loudspeakers somewhere in this country! We don't know where it is coming from, but it's there and it's loud! We have heard mostly Chinese music to an electronic version of Yankee Doodle or that New Year’s song they play in “When Harry Met Sally (something about old friends). And once, after staying up late reading a thrilling novel, we were awaked by sudden bursts of what to us sounded like gun fire. After we regained our senses we looked out the window; it was firecrackers for a bride and groom. The hotel we stayed at averaged 4 weddings a day, each accompanied by firecrackers at an ungodly hour of the morning.

We walked around Kaifeng to see the sights. First we went to see the sight of the old Jewish synagogue. Lonely Planet does not exaggerate when it remarks that all that is left is the cover of a well in the middle of the #4 People's Hospital Boiler room. That is really what's there. The boiler room is a dirty and broken building, with lots of coal everywhere, and also a wooden cover and well with a bit of water on the ground. So that was our Jewish experience in Kaifeng.

We were surprised to see, however, that there are a lot of Muslims in the area, and we had some good Chinese-Muslim type food and went to a couple of mosques. We saw some temples and pagodas; among the more impressive was the Iron pagoda, which is very very very tall (55.2 meters). We climbed it all the way to the top. We were surprised to find out that the inside of the pagoda consists only of stairs-very narrow and steep stairs. As we got closer to the top, we saw that the walls were elaborately decorated with Buddhas and designs. At the top itself, the stairs end in a Buddha about 8.5x11 inches.

We met our first truly bilingual person today, and boy was it nice. At the Kaifeng Museum, he walked around with us explaining what everything was, and adding some historical notes and commentary of his own. We met him later for dinner at a dumpling place, and we experienced what dining should be like. We got a table without any wild hand gestures, we ordered what we wanted, got what we ordered, and paid the price on the menu. Wow. That was a first for us this trip. Usually, we point to "I'm a vegetarian" and they show us what's veggie on the menu. We can't read it, so we accept their recommendation and hope for the best. Sometimes tofu, sometimes braised eggplant, and often bok choy. While adventure is fun, it's nice to occasionally know what you're eating.

We're writing this e-mail at 9:30 p.m., and we still have four and a half hours to kill before our train ride to Xi'an. That's right folks, 1:55 in the morning we depart. And we only have one ticket. Don't ask. We'll get there somehow.

In other news, we ate almond pudding, which is more like almond-flavored corn starch water. Despite the unappetizing appearance, it was pretty good, especially when mixed with peanuts, jujubes (we know what jujubes are now!), and some kind of white fungus (our American friend/guide assured us they were fine).

We'll write again from Xi'an. We hope we are not making everything sound terribly exotic and strange; we are just overwhelmed by how much we don't understand and don't know about the world! It's strange to be in a place where nothing makes sense, from the way we dress to the way we eat and the way we stand in a line. We are having a great time, especially now that we are healthy again!

XIAN, CHINA: Date: Tue, 09 Oct 2001 02:19:44 

Xian Xays Xalom! 

We found a DSL connection in China and were so excited we had to write another email! It's a little weird though -- the internet computers are on the third floor of the building down an alley, and the staircases are pretty dark and narrow. Gotta trust somebody sometime...

We have had several successes in China travel, so we are regaining our confidence and our high spirits. we managed to get to Xian on a night train from Kaifeng. Then we managed to avoid a minibus scam and get on a bus to see the Terra Cotta soldiers (which are quite amazing!) and to get back to our hotel. Oh, and we managed to find a cheap hotel. And then, we succeeded in reserving tickets for our train ride tomorrow to Chengdu. So naturally, we are patting ourselves on the back.

The terra cotta warriors were incredible. In the largest pit excavated so far, they have set up over one thousand life-size soldiers in battle formation. Each has a different facial expression, a slightly different position, etc. All are unique, all would be a wonderful find on their own.

Today, we went to the Big Goose Pagoda, which had nothing to do with geese as far as we could tell, but did contain some Buddhist texts from the Qin dynasty. We just hung out in the Muslim quarter, saw the Great Mosque, and had delicious "soup-filled parcels," or dumplings. The translations here are so funny! "Rubbish receptacle," "dlied aplicots," "prastic bottles," "mind your head," we can't remember them all.

We hope you're all well, and we'll let you know more when we have climbed E-mei Shan, the mountain near Chengdu. Should be quite an adventure!

CHENGDU, CHINA: Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 07:16:28 

Adventures in the wild west:  This will be a particularly long email, but we hope you find it worthwhile.

Part I: Moving on... "Hello, laowai, hello!"

We last wrote in Xian, an interesting but stinky city.  We moved on to Chengdu, a 15 hour train ride. It turns out we were together in the train with all the foreigners in China (or so it seemed!) and it was not a very enjoyable ride, but we got to Chengdu well rested.  We then hunted for a cheap taxi to the Greater Panda Breeding and Research base, where we saw, well, pandas!  It was very exciting.  There are two types of pandas, the lesser panda which looks like a raccoon (and is red, with a long tail) and the more well known Greater Panda. The lesser pandas were adorable!  They happily sought attention from us, and stood up asking for food.  It was quite a sight.  The greater pandas are more sedate, but no less cute, and they eat a lot! We saw a panda sit and stuff his mouth with bamboo leaves, and then take the bunch and munch on it like a sandwich.  We also saw a 15 day old panda bear.  It was the size of a guinea pig, its eyes were cute, its head was squished, and it didn't look like a panda at all, but it was quite a sight!  Baby pandas are really cuddly looking, and we were grating our teeth with excitement!

We then moved on to explore Chengdu, went to a tea house where we spent the afternoon watching people and being watched.  Then we caught a bus to Emei.  This is where our adventure begins.

Part II: Getting there... "Emei okay. Okay Emei. Emei."

We wanted to get a bus from Chengdu to Emei, but the bus runs direct only to nearby Leshan (where the tallest Buddha in the world sits) at that time of night.  The bus driver finally convinced us of this fact, but we pretended not to understand, and he finally gave up and said, "Emei okay. Okay. Emei emei emei."  We happily got on the bus, watched a Hong Kong version of The Bodyguard, where the Kevin Costner character does kung fu.  Instead of killing just the bad guy at the end, this guy kills at least three dozen along the way, three of them with... get this, a watermelon!  He threw it into the air and then did a super kick which sent three pieces of watermelon into the bad guys' faces, actually killing them.  Pretty weird.  In any case, the bus pulled in and we thought we had arrived, but the excitement was just beginning.

The bus driver kicks us off and we say, "Emei?" and he says, "Emei" and points.  He shoves us into a taxi with two other guys, and pays the driver for us (we paid beforehand for the whole trip), and off we went.  On the way, we sort of chatted with one of the guys about the weather, etc. until we were stopped at a checkpoint and Hagar was taken out of the car and forced to show her passport, visa, and drivers' license.  Due to bad/different haircuts in the past, the soldiers were a bit unsure what to do, but Hagar convinced them she just has a malleable portrait.  In Chinese she said this.  With her hands waving, I mean.

We told the taxi driver "Bagguo si," which is the temple area where we wanted to stay.  He said okay and took us somewhere else.  After much confusion, we decided to just stay wherever we were.  The hotel wanted to charge us 280, but agreed to give us a late-night arrival discount to 140.  We pleaded and said "pianyi" (cheap) a lot, and the price dropped to 90 (eleven dollars).  The hotel was fine until someone tried to break into our room at 3 in the morning.  The doorknob turned, and then the door shook as someone tried to open it (fortunately, we used the inside lock).  We didn't sleep too much after that...

Part III: E-mei Shan... "Ow. Ow. What fun! Ow. Ow."

It is hard to start the saga of our journey up the mountain, so we will start with some details.  The mountain is really high. It is 3099m high, and is one of the four sacred mountains in China. We thought we would do the whole thing through trails, but we were wrong!  We climbed up 30 km in stairs and climbed down 30 km more.  To give you some idea of what that means-- imagine the Empire State building.  Now imagine climbing its stairs to the top and then down again 7 times.  We met a guy named Bill at the Teddy Bear Caffe, which Lonely Planet recommends as a starting point for all travelers.  We had an early breakfast with him, and the man did not stop talking from that moment until we were too slow for this marathon biker/Oregon retiree. 

As evidence, while we were out of breath and barely making it over the next step, we learned that his ex-wife went a few years ago but doesn't like roughing it, his mother is an obsessive worrier, he bought a VW bus when he was younger, and he caught a cold from this Chinese guy who followed him around practicing his English.  We usually like chatting with travelers, but the steps of Emei Shan are steep, slippery and many.  The mountain itself is quite beautiful.  We wouldn't know, though, because we were encased in fog our whole climb up:  we had visibility of between 10-30 feet, and sometimes when we looked down it was like staring into a foggy pit of nothing.

We struggled up the mountain until we reached Leidong, where we were attacked by a wild monkey (a Tibetan Macaque).  It was quite frightening, actually.  We were looking for the peanuts we bought for him, and we sat on the steps, innocently expecting him to wait patiently.  Instead, he leaped forward and grabbed our bags, stuck his hands in our pockets, and did not let go of our pants.  We yelped in fright and a big man with a big walking stick came to our rescue, shaking his stick at the now hissing monkey.  We ran fast.

We climbed up 1.5 km more, and then reached Jieyin Hall.  There was a monastery there, where we intended to stay. Besides being very close to sunset (it was 6:15), we could no longer walk.  But we were refused a bed because we are laowai (foreigners), and so a man took us to the restaurant next door, which also refused us a bed, this time laughing and pointing, yelling "laowai, laowai."  We were quite upset, cold and tired.  So we accused our poor man of not being nice.  To be exact, we first threatened to sleep outside on the steps of the restaurant.  To this, the man responded with a vigorous shake and a shiver.  We insisted, and he suggested he carry us (that's called "cheating" at emei- for a good price, porters carry you up the mountain on "carry cars" which are really stretcher chairs).  We refused, claiming we had no money.  We then pulled out our Lonely Planet phrase book and word by word accused our poor victim.  "ni bu hao"  we think it means "you no nice."  And we kept repeating and pointing, until he took us to his home.  He and his other porter co-workers took us up another kilometer up the mountain.  They were fast, and we were crawling, so there was much laughter.  But the whole way up he kept pointing to himself and saying "pengyou" meaning "friend".  We kept thanking him for his kindness. 

We arrived at a tourist snack shack- their home was on top of the shack, reachable by a makeshift ladder, and it resembled a tree house.  Our private room came equipped with a bed and an electric blanket, and we were tearful with thanks. We were fed, changed to dry(er) clothes, drank tea, watched the crowd play mah-jongg.  We thanked our hosts a thousand and one times and went to sleep.

Part IV: The Descent..."Only 3 kilometers more"

We got a late start (about 9 a.m.), and we soon realized that going down, while much faster, is no easier on the legs.  Going up killed the quads, going down killed the calves.  That left us with our knees, which were squished on the bus.  The fog lifted a little, and we had some views of nearby mountainsides, which were remarkable.  The mountain looks just like the Chinese artwork -- sheer cliffs, jutting crags, leafy trees growing in seemingly impossible places, elegant waterfalls, and mist washing over everything.  At one of the larger temples, we came across a few monkeys and Hagar gave him some peanuts.  This time, however, she decided to pet his head which didn't go over well.  "Look at the cute monkey" went to "Did you know that monkeys have such sharp canines?" in about a half a second as the monkey leapt at Hagar with teeth bared and grabbed her pants in retaliation. Michael whimpered and Hagar comforted him while the British girl we just met retreated into the shadows with a quiet comment of, "I don't like monkeys." 

We barely reached the bottom, barely reached the bus, were unable to get on the bus and had to be pushed/pulled by each other.  It was fun!

Part V: Non-Tibet, here we come... "Is there a shoulder on this road?"

Today we left Emei for Yaan and from there caught a connection to Kanding, after running errands with the help of a middle school girl who is learning English and a helpful bank teller who paid for a cab ride to another branch so we could change money.  The ride was as beautiful as it was dangerous.   Mountain after mountain after mountain, each impressive in size and grandeur.  There was a pleasant river flowing through the gorge at the bottom, and there was a little bit of mist to add to the mythical feel. 

Tomorrow we head for Litang and western Sichuan, where we intend to meet Tibetan herdsmen and Bai nomads.  No foreigners, though.  It is pretty much the middle of nowhere.  We're looking at five- to twenty-hour bus rides, and likely no internet.  Also, we sent a package home today from Yaan, Sichuan.  They said it would take about thirty days, so hopefully it'll get there.  It's lots of souvenirs, but no film, since we didn't fully trust the post out here.

We don't know when we'll be able to write next, so we hope you enjoyed this e-mail, as it's the last you'll get for a little while (maybe).  We're having a great time, we've left civilization as we know it behind, and are looking forward to the next two weeks.

LITANG, CHINA: Date: Mon, 15 Oct 2001 05:28:33

We arrived at Litang today. We unexpectedly found three internet cafes in this one-street town, where we are just as likely to find wandering pigs and Tibetan horsemen as bicycles and taxis.  Today we saw three pigs at three different times, walking down the street and smelling the road.  We just wanted to let you know we are alright.  The ride today was really incredible! We are at 4000m. The air is thin, and every few steps leaves us winded.   We're very happy that we are doing this out of the way trip because the scenery is incredible, the mountain air is fresh, and the people are right out of National Geographic. It's strange and exciting!

LITANG and ENVIRONS, CHINA: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 07:58:45

Tashi dele from (almost) Tibet

Last time we wrote, we were about to set off from Kanding to western Sichuan and south to Yunnan (Kanding-Litang-Xuancheng-Zhongdian-Lijiang). Well, we did! We have spent most of the last four days in buses traveling through some of the most beautiful and impressive scenery we've ever witnessed. The air was refreshing, as was the change of greeting we received. Instead of pointing and laughing out, "Hello, laowai!" we were instead treated to smiles and nods of the hat to, "Tashi dele!" To top it all off, the sky was blue for the first time in two weeks. Happy us! =)

As the mountains went on and on and on, so did the roads. While Beijing is just as dangerous, driving along some of these passes is far more frightening. The bus driver will pull up behind another bus, fist on the horn, and finally pass around the other bus on a blind curve, one-lane, no-shoulder road. We have looked death in the face, our friends, and we have stared him down.

Litang, our first stop, was wonderful. Although we had trouble walking around without fainting (Litang is the fourth highest Chinese city at about 4000 meters elevation, geography buffs!), we enjoyed looking at the beautiful Tibetan fabrics and silverwork, all hand-made. The monastery was very friendly, and the monks surrounded us trying to ask us questions and look at our cameras, etc. One of the boys was astonished to find that Michael has arm hair, and Hagar helpfully pulled up Michael's pants leg so they could discover that he has... leg hair! Unfortunately, altitude sickness slowed us down a bit, but at least we had skewer-roasted potatoes with chili by the roadside.

An update on the bathrooms: in Litang, the bathroom in our hotel was across the street, so we solved the problem in the usual way- we made a makeshift potty. The shower, well... there WAS a shower, and even a water heater for potential 24-hour hot water, but there was no water in the whole hotel! Not even in the four sinks in the men’s room! We did manage to do some laundry by using hot water meant for tea.

Next bathroom- Xuancheng. This too was in the outdoors, this time protected by rabid Tibetan dogs that do not like foreigners. Needless to say, the situation called for another makeshift potty made of an empty water bottle. If only we had this bottle today! We were on a long bus ride, and the driver must have had a bladder the size of Crater Lake because we never stopped! finally, the driver gave in to the forces of nature and we pulled over on the side of a mountain. All the men rushed out, and the four women were left to seek out an empty corner. Hagar found one first, which should have given her the advantage of privacy (if you're slow, then you have to join the rest of the peeing women within inches of one another, with no wall to hide you). But alas... she found a nice place behind a low wall, and was happily peeing when along came a tractor piled high with Tibetans. For those of you who do not know what we mean by piled high, we mean this: There was a tractor pulling a wagon, and tractor carried some four men, and the wagon carried too many men and women to be counted, so they were spilling out and sitting on top of one another, all atop a pile of hay. And when they saw bare-bottomed Hagar, there was lots of clapping and cheering and honking of the horn. And that is how Hagar became numb to being bare-bottomed.

And the last of the bus-bathroom stories: we once stopped at a place where there was nowhere to hide, and so with no choice, Hagar pretended that she was hidden, until a woman with a camera came wandering by, taking pictures of the near-by yaks-in-a-truck, and yes, Hagar, bare-bottomed once again. And then the German guy from the bus came by, obviously also numb to the whole idea of privacy-while-peeing.  And that is how Hagar's bottom was seen all over Sichuan.

We've finally arrived in Lijang, which is very close to the border of Tibet, but you wouldn't know it by the level of tourism here. Almost more English than Chinese where we're staying. It's quite a shock after one-street towns with more Tibetan than Chinese! You'd think that here, at least, Michael and Hagar would have no funny stories. But you are hasty, dear reader!  Hasty, we say, for the simple act of hailing a taxi to their hostel resulted in the following story:

So we get off the bus, and prepare to seek a cab, but an old guy approaches us who seems to know where the Dongba House is. We walk towards his cab, but realize that he's not a cabbie, but a biker guy, and instead of a bike-rickshaw-thing, it's a bike with a small wagon. So we pile our packs into the wagon and perch on the edge of the vehicle (vehicle?) with feet dangling. He pedals off and we are chatting merrily, occasionally telling our driver we don't speak Chinese as he tries to chime in. We start biking down dark alleys, but figure it's okay. And it is, until he gets off the bike to let a car pass. But he doesn't get back on. He tells us to get off, too, and for the next half hour, we walk with our supposed taxi driver to our hotel, the whole time listening to him telling us something or other. We commented to each other that, "This is just a scam so that we get tired and then we'll be too tired to chase him when he runs off with our bags," and the driver laughed! He understood! We paid our cabbie the agreed fare, and he merrily wandered off with his bicycle wagon looking for other people who will pay him for his company as they stroll the city.

We leave you with this Chinglish food for thought, seen in the bus station in Zhongdian (the following is absolutely verbatim):

"Dear Friend: We warmly welcome you to travel here -- In beautiful Shangri-La, And we hope you have a good time during your stay here, But whether you have realized or not that when you get here, Many lawless persons always fix their shifty eyes on you, Their black hands always put into your pockets at all times, Many friends have been stolen by them, Especially here, So we will give a special remindey for your safety, You must be on the alert particularly at the ticket office, Get on(off) the bus or anywhere at the bus station, You also must be careful your articles, Money and bags etc..... Thank you for your cooperation. Division of Exit and Entry of Diqing P.S.B."

Another sign we saw in Xian: "Slogans for the Escalators: All children and old men must be accompanied by supervision."

GUANGXI, CHINA: Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2001 09:42:40

We decided to leave Lijiang earlier than planned, and are now in Yangshuo in Guangxi province. We took a sleeper bus to Kunming, and bought a flight to Guilin (near Yangshuo). The flight was $100 each, but the alternative to the comfy 1 1/2 hour flight was $20 each but a 32-hour slow and uncomfortable train ride. We decided to splurge!

GUANGZHOU, CHINA: Tue, 23 Oct 2001 06:27:53

We recently changed our plans again, and flew out to Guanxi province north of Hong Kong. We are in a little town called Yangshuo- it's a nice little place in the middle of beautiful mountains. Though we are having a nice time relaxing, it is a bit too touristy here and we are ready to get going again. Tomorrow afternoon we will take the 4 p.m. bus to Guangzhou. it is a twelve hour bus ride, so we won't get there until the 25th. Then we will see the city and move on to Hong Kong by boat. 

We are following the news situation and it looks grim. It's actually very depressing, and we are somewhat worried about the anthrax epidemic. We are rethinking our trip to India, and though we have plenty of time to decide, we may have an extra month in Europe instead. Things do not look good right now.

Being in this tourist town makes it easy to forget and ignore that the world is in such a mess. We think that specifically in China it is easy to feel isolated and optimistic, though we do have our encounters with anti-American sentiments--never a comfortable moment.

Other than that, all is good--we are well rested and well fed, ready for more adventures when we reach Thailand.

HONG KONG and LIJIANG, CHINA: Fri, 26 Oct 2001 02:16:06

Onward, to the castle!

We haven't written for a while because we've been on vacation. really-we have! We arrived at Lijiang last week sometime, and really enjoyed our couple of days there. It is a nice cute city with an old town full of cobblestone streets, old wooden houses and lots of western cafes. In fact, it felt kind of like a cultural Disneyland. we ate lots of pancakes, Michael ate a hamburger, and we walked the streets leisurely, avoiding public transportation at all costs. After regaining some well-needed weight, we climbed a little hill next to Huangtan Bonguan (black dragon pool) where we saw really spectacular views- besides seeing the whole valley, Lijiang's old and new town and acres of agriculture, we also got a great view of Snowcapped Mountain- we were blessed that day with perfect weather (which was a good break from the rainy past couple of days). Snowcapped mountain is a huge mountain that is... well, snow-capped.

After this strenuous outing, we decided to go to even more relaxing Yangshuo. We weren't originally going to go, actually, but we ran into an Israeli couple who told us that Yangshuo was a piece of heaven. We figured we should go, so we hopped on a sleeper bus to Kunming, then caught a flight to Guilin, then a minibus ride to Yangshuo. Before you could say, "Banana pancake," we were back to a nice city with lots of Western cafes. BUT... the surrounding countryside was AMAZING. The landscape is perfectly flat, and we mean totally flat, but there are sharp hill-peaks everywhere that jut out of the flat, flat ground. It's hard to believe they're real, even when you stand right next to them. They are right out of Chinese ink paintings, which we just saw, by the way, in the HK Museum of Art. =)

In Yangshuo, we took a bike tour with a guide recommended by our Israeli friends from Lijiang, and although our bottoms kind of hurt, it was great.

We saw some great scenery, rode amongst rice paddies and sugar cane fields, saw water buffaloes and bamboo boats used by actual fishermen unrelated to tourism, and even had a home-cooked meal (six different dishes!) prepared by our guide in her sister's home. Other than this exciting day, we each read a book, ate even more pancakes (but we switched from banana to chocolate at this point), and Michael discovered burritos again. Yummy.

Update on public transportation: Sleeper buses seem innocent but really they are quite frightening. We didn't sleep much on our ride from Lijiang to Kunming, because whenever we opened our eyes, we saw headlights coming right at us and soon realized that we were on the wrong side of the road. Often we would stay there until the last second and then swerve back to the right, almost hitting the car next to us. We were rushed to arrive early at Kunming (5am instead of 5:30), and it was a good thing because we slept soundly on the bus from the moment of arrival until 7 a.m. when we were rushed out. Then came our flight. we bought our tickets at the airport- it seems that no matter what airline you want to buy tickets from, all ticket-sellers have the same schedules and prices, so really there was no need to shop around but we did anyway. the 9:45 flight had only one seat so we bought two tickets for the 4 p.m. flight and promised we'll be back 40 minutes before the flight to see if there were any seats that became available in the meantime. miraculously, a seat "opened up" and we began our scramble through chinese transportation bureaucracy hell. The pattern is thus: wait, wait, wait in line. Get to the front and be told, "You need a small piece of paper with a stamp on it." "Where do we acquire said stamp?" "Next in line, please.

Move aside, sir." We ran to the left, the right, the left again, and once more to the right then back left, and now held in our hands tickets, claim checks, baggage tickets, and an "airport construction and maintenance fee receipt" (this was a tricky one). We got to our flight about five minutes before take-off thanks to a kind man in line who let us cut (and was yelled at by the people behind him who were less kind).

So we flew and we arrived and then we took a shuttle to Guilin, and tried to find a minibus to Yangshuo which is another hassle because it requires the fine skill of bargaining. What we have learned is never bargain with lots of people at once- they only use each other to your disadvantage. so we somehow managed to get a fair price from a guy who promised us "special price just for you" until we found two other American girls who paid 2 yuan less. So more bargaining, and we finally all paid the same price and off we went.

All we'll say about our sleeper bus to Guangzhou is that we slept with yams. And visited markets. And our bus driver has friends in strange places.

We didn't learn more, but we did get to pee a lot.

We stayed in Guangzhou for all of a few hours as we quickly found that it is a wonderful place to be if you're shopping for "agricultural, constructional, and industrial products at the 90th Chinese Commodities Export Fair" but not of much interest otherwise. We broke down and ate at McDonald's because the hotel buffet (only other food in sight) cost lots more money than we have. The moral of the story is that we are now in Hong Kong, and that the Lonely Planet is right on the money with its description of where we are staying (The Chungking Mansions):

"There is probably no other place in the world like Chungking Mansions, the budget accommodation ghetto of Hong Kong. It's a huge high-rise dump."

And indeed it is. We are staying in a room the size our shoes. We open up the door and we are in bed already. There is an air conditioner that makes so much noise we often debate what's worse, the heat or the racket? The toilets are always plugged up and we can't figure out the shower (right above the toilet). And there are a lot of Indian people there- so many, in fact, that there seems to be an Indian restaurant on every other floor. We can't figure out why there are so many of them in this particular location, and for how long they are staying. One fella was spotted making tea in his underwear, and had an aura of permanence about him. The elevators... deserve their own paragraph.

The best word for the lift is derelict. We read the inspection notice, which is up to date, although a bit odd since it doesn't mention weight capacity. In any case, if there are more than four people in the lift at once, the weight buzzer goes off and the doors won't close. But this is not the end of the story. If everyone carefully balances themselves around the edge and lean into the wall, or each other, or says the magic word, the weight buzzer goes off and the door closes. On our first trip, a helpful Sikh suggested that Michael lift his right leg. We thought he was joking, but it did in fact turn the buzzer off and we ascended the Mansions in our rickety tin box with only one foot on the ground. That was pretty weird, especially since everyone but us thought it was super normal. "Of course I ride elevators one-footed," they say. And the elevator doesn't reach our floor, either, but who cares.

Today, we went to the HK Museum of Art, Salisbury Gardens, saw Victoria Harbor, Kowloon Park, looked at the outside of the Kowloon Mosque (no visitors), and finally ended up at the HK Musuem of History. We'll be dining with Vivian (a friend from Brown for you non-Brunonians out there) this evening. Tomorrow we plan on going for veggie dim sum.

We forgot to mention something. In Lijiang we watched a Naxi orchestra play. It was really amusing, since there was a narrator that spoke in Chinese for longer than the band actually played. The players were pretty old--all in their 80s--and they all fell asleep during the performance, only to open their eyes when they had to play. Some travelers claim they sleep because of their age, but we suspect two agents are at work: a) they play the same thing every night b) the narrator was pretty boring, especially if they have to listen to him every night (although they speak Chinese so it must be more interesting for them than for us). The gong player looked like Colonel Sanders from KFC.

So endeth another e-mail from Hagsy and Michael. We miss you all, and hope you're having fun and enjoying life. And make sure you all stay safe.

FROM HONG KONG, CHINA TO BANGKOK,THAILAND: Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2001 04:23:12

Michael wears a skirt

We've successfully left China and are now in the beautiful land of Thailand! Our last couple of days in Hong Kong were great, thanks to Vivian's great hospitality. She took us walking around Central, and we went up to Victoria Peak for a wonderful walk and view of the city. Almost the best part of Hong Kong was the food! Vivian and her mom took us out to eat and fed us well. We ate several delicious meals with them: a) vegetarian restaurant b) dim sum yum-my c) Thai food (but much classier than the street food we are now consuming) d) a Shanghai restaurant where we ate delicacies such as hairy crab dumplings (so rare they are only served in Hong Kong and this restaurant), fish-head soup , and crispy eel. It was great and we are now fat and ready for travel-style weight loss.

Part I: Sketchy Accommodation Update

The Chungking mansions were weird, as we described before, but we thought we'd update you on what we found out from our neighbors.

Room 3: English guy who sets up IT systems when there is work and sits without a shirt late at night in cheap sketchy guesthouses when there isn't. Nice guy.

Room 4: The poacher. Not of eggs, though. This guy got kicked out of his native South Africa for poaching and was smuggling abalone out of Taiwan until the typhoon destroyed his stock which was stored in his basement. He is now involved in "other business with my friend" but he has no money. Really nice guy, by the way, who talked to us for a while about how weird Chungking mansions are.

Room 1: Chinese guy who makes tea in his underwear and seems to be a permanent resident of the "mansions."

Rooms 6 and 7: Two Chinese men who bring in some attractive women (scantily clad) at 4 a.m. and make a lot of noise, causing said English guy from room 3 to complain the next evening for quite some time. Apparently the guy from Room 6 did not pay his lady, who came back the next morning to collect, but ended up staying for a couple more hours.

Electricity update: the room 4 air conditioner can't be turned on because it busts a fuse for the whole floor if operating. The English guy (IT skills, we assume) figures this out and operates the electric switches/fuse box whenever necessary. We are thankful for his strange late-night work habits.

Part II: Which is the head, which is the tail?

Our last day in Hong Kong, we saw the Bird Market and Flower Market near Boundary Street. There was a wide variety of beautiful flowers, both in bouquets and loose. There were some we'd never seen before as well as a larger variety of roses than we thought possible. There were even black roses, burgundy roses with white spots, and bright blue roses. Beautiful.

The bird market was an interesting spectacle. Again, we saw some birds we've never seen before -- the most startling ones could fluff up their rear-end plumage to make it look like their head while others had feathers around their neck like a crown and could sort of shrink their head in like turtles if they wanted. Old men were everywhere comparing and showing off their birds. Beautiful birds and bird cages, twittering and singing in the air. Plus bird poopy smell. And live fresh crickets for food.

Part III: Orchids, hot towels, good food, friendly staff... are we on an airplane?

After quite a hassle at the airport, where we had to fork over the tick-removing scissors and tweezers from our first aid kit to security, never to be seen again, we were relieved to finally be seated on the airplane to Bangkok. Little did we know what heaven awaited us. The "flight hostesses" all wore pretty Thai dresses and bowed to us as we came on the plane. We quickly were served drinks and peanuts, but soon after we got hot towels and more drinks. The toilet was decorated with fresh orchids next to the seat, along with perfume bottles! And when Michael asked the flight attendant where Pipi Island was on the map, she came back after consulting with every other attendant on the plane with complete travel recommendations for islands and beaches. Then the food! The chicken curry was pretty good, but the best part was that we were served juices, wine, brandy, and water within ten minutes of the meal. We also had delicious coconut milk rice, and a tasty chocolate-mousse cake. We have decided never to fly any other airline but Thai International Airlines.

Part IV: Did we just hit that car?

Yes.  We took bus A-2 from the airport to Khao San Road in Banglamphu, a cheap backpacker district in Bangkok. But we didn't get there right away, because our bus hit a white car on the way, and took off its side view mirror, tail light, and fender. After sitting in the middle of the road for 15 minutes, our poor bus driver escorted us all off and put us on a very crowded bus, where we hit several people in the face with our backpacks when we tried to find just enough room so that we don't fall off the bus. And you remember those Sure commercials? We disregarded them.

So we arrived finally at Khao San road, realized we don't know where we were sleeping that night, and were soon aware that the heat was unbearable (which brings us to the title of this email.) It is very very humid here! We found a cheap enough place that had a bed for us, with a bathroom and shower right next door (the water is cold, but who cares in this heat!). And then we went and bought a skirt so that Hagar doesn't melt. Michael wasn't quite ready to wear a skirt yet so he decided to wait a day and then decide. He now has funny flowy pants that are tight in just the right areas and are held on by a string. We will buy him a skirt tomorrow, and send pictures home soon.

Part V: "30 baht to Khao San, but 10 if I took you to export center first."

We took a tuk tuk (motorized samlor, or three-wheeled cab thing) to the Lucky Reclining Buddha and then to the Grand Palace. But along the way, we went to a gem store and a fashion depot, which took us a bit by surprise.

It turns out that the tuk tuk drivers get free gas for taking us to the stores this week (Promotion week! great prices!). We foolishly passed up on opportunities to become gem couriers as well as stock up on Armani suits. Such is life. But we got good deals on tuk tuk rides. We decided it's not worth it though. The last time we took a tuk tuk ride, the driver took us to "Broadway Fashions," and told us we have to spend 10 minutes there to get the 10 bhat fare we asked for. We bargained and got it down to 5 minutes. so we entered Broadway Fashions and pretended we were interested in two suits, one for each of us. But when it became apparent that we were not planning on buying a suit for the fine price of 150 dollars, the seller became (excuse our language) pissed. He made us feel guilty for not buying a suit, saying "$100 is nothing to Americans." We slowly backed out, covering our exit with "Thank you for your time" and "We'll think about it and come back." Yeah, right.

Part VI: Grand Palace, Fresh Coconut, and Thai Massage

The Grand Palace was incredible! Gold everywhere, with a little silver, jade, pearl, and semi-precious stones thrown in for good measure. We saw chelis (Thai stupas), scripture rooms, the Emerald Buddha, the Coronation Room, etc. Wonderful place that even has its own version of the Buckingham Palace guards, although Michael carefully watched one for ten minutes and was rewarded when he swallowed, blinked, and adjusted his feet. We then walked about a market and ate fresh spring rolls and drank coconut milk from an actual coconut. We then returned to the Khao San area, and had a Thai massage which was quite painful, as we were twisted every which way.

Tomorrow is Lakatong, the full moon festival (coinciding with Halloween this month), and there is supposed to be a big street party. We hope the weather clears up; a thunder storm just started and we are getting some tropical rain!